DVD Review: Blood, Sweat and Terrors

Not Rated; 98 minutes; Amazon

Blood, Sweat and Terrors arrived on DVD from RLJ Entertainment last week. Based on the art cover and the synopsis (which you can read in the next paragraph), I believed the movie would be a fun, low-budget, 90's-like action film.

There's no running from this fight. A lethal dose of gangsters, hit men, crooked cops and guerilla fighters are headed for the ultimate showdown...with more non-stop, bare-fisted action than one movie can handle. The hardcore double crosses, desperate missions and cold-blooded revenge are loaded into every minute won't end until the last bullet is fired. It will take more than courage to survive, and even the best will fall.

I have no idea who wrote the the synopsis for the DVD, but it has almost nothing to do with the movie. Actually, calling this a movie is a big stretch. The film is nothing more than 9 random short films edited into one movie.

The short films are:

Empire of Dirt

Directed by Adam Mason, this is the weirdest short in the collection. It's less action and more of a Clive Barker horror tale featuring graphic nudity.

Awesome Runaway

Directed by Benjamin De Los Santos, an over the top action tale about a kidnapped victim hallucinating his escape.

Jacob's Wrath

Directed by Alexandre Carriere, this tale involves a man's quest to kill his daughter's killer. The short switches back and forth from our world (reality) to a hallucinated apocalyptic world.

Flow

Directed by Shelagh Rowan-Legg, this happens to be dumbest tale of the bunch. It involves two female guerilla fighters bickering over the last Tampax. Yes, this is the real plot of the short!

Express Delivery

Directed by Beau Fowler, all this short is is one long fight scene between "The Postman" and a guy named "Swifty" (played by Beau Flower). Fun to watch, but pointless.

Turncoat

Directed by Will Gilbey, "Turncoat" is about two crooked cops who invade a man's home. It's very boring!

Get Some

Directed by Adam Horton and Joe Horton, this tale is set in a zombie-infested world, where Hunter Smith (played by Warren Brown) hunts down the "outsiders" during his reality series "Get Some." For this episode, Hunter has brought along Dr. James Borans (played by John Hannah), an "outsider" activist, to go hunting with him in an English forest.

Olga

Directed by Olaf Svenson, this subtitled foreign short tells the story of a young woman's quest to avenge her parents' death by the hands of a mob boss.

Fetch

Directed by Daniel Bernhardt, "Fetch" is a boring tale about a private detective's journey to retrieve a missing dog.

Final Thoughts

"What did I just watch?"

That's exactly the question that was going through my mind while I was watching Blood, Sweat and Terrors last night.

The art cover and the synopsis are misleading. You think you're getting a low-budget action film, but instead you're getting 9 short films. The shorts have no connected to each other. "Empire of Dirt" and "Get Some" are horror shorts; "Flow" is a comedy; "Olga" is a revenge drama; "Turncoat" is a boring home invasion story; "Awesome Runaway" and "Jacob's Wrath" are just plain dumb; "Express Delivery" is a halfway fun action tale; and "Fetch" feels like a poorly made Walker, Texas Ranger spinoff reject.

Overall, I cannot recommend the Blood, Sweat and Terrors DVD to anyone, as you'll be wasting your money buying it.