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Where do I begin this tale of cinematic woe? Tonight's Midnight Horror pick, Predator's World, is a work of such questionable merit that it feels less like horror and more like a softcore adult monster spoof gone awry. Judging by its DVD cover, I anticipated a gloriously cheesy B-sci-fi flick. But oh, how I was mistaken! Instead, I found myself ensnared in a bizarre realm of racy antics, brought to life by former adult star Bree Olson, whose name graces the cover alongside YouTuber Shawn C. Phillips. This seemed to promise something intriguing, but even Phillips, appearing as a hologram in two brief, forgettable scenes, couldn't salvage this sinking ship.
The film, penned by Cameron T. James and helmed by director Jeff Leroy, spins a tale as follows: the TITAN 1C space cruiser—ostensibly the most luxurious star-liner ever crafted—collides with a meteor shower, forcing several survivors into a desperate escape pod. Alas, their plight takes a dire turn when they land on a planet teeming with bloodthirsty aliens, who take their sweet time hunting them down, one hapless soul at a time. Any chance of salvation hinges on their ability to cobble together tech from the remnants of their crash. Talk about being between a rock and a hard place!
But let’s address the elephant in the room: the script. Was it crafted by a hormone-fueled teenager? Because the dialogue is ripe with the kind of juvenile banter that echoes out of a junior high locker room. Trust me; I’ve been there myself—though that was eons ago! I can appreciate the charm of truly absurd low-budget B-movies, but Predator's World elevates dumb to an art form. The acting, the dialogue, the jokes—it all plays out like a late-night skin flick from the '90s, the kind your teenager would sneak away to watch on a 19-inch TV in their bedroom, courtesy of your Christmas generosity. Wait, wait, I’m revealing too much from my own childhood... but honestly, that’s the level of mediocrity you get here.
And just when you think it can’t get weirder, there's a scene where a woman encounters a rubber-suited monster in ways that would make anyone’s skin crawl—or giggle, depending on your state of mind. Kudos to the old-school effects that elicited a smidge of nostalgia, but the abominable-looking CGI? That’s a crime against humanity.
In the grand scheme, Predator's World is a dumpster fire of a film—a sleazy flick that bizarrely possesses a sliver of charm amid its chaos. It's clear that everyone involved aspired to conjure up a B-movie dripping with nudity and juvenile humor. If your taste runs low, or if you're under the influence of substances or spirits, you might just find a perverse thrill in this debacle of cinema. Watch at your own peril, dear viewer. You've been forewarned! ╌★✰✰✰✰
〜B.J. Burgess
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“The plot thickens… especially when you comment.” 〜B.J. Burgess