31 Reads of Terror: 'The Escape Room' by Megan Goldin

When did escape rooms make their grand debut, and what sparked their meteoric rise in popularity? Since their inception, the concept has permeated our cultural consciousness, giving rise to a plethora of books and films featuring escape room plots. Take The Escape Room by Megan Goldin, for instance—a title that blatantly gives away its premise, yet somehow, I managed to overlook that little detail. I’ll admit it: I snagged this book from Dollar Tree based solely on its cover, completely ignoring the blurb. In my warped imagination, I envisioned a tale of someone stepping into a forbidden room within a decrepit mansion or an ancient castle. Spoiler alert: I couldn’t have been more wrong. Lesson learned, folks: read the blurb before you buy.

Here’s my version of the blurb for reference. Picture this: in the cutthroat world of finance, Vincent, Jules, Sylvie, and Sam are the crème de la crème, masters of the boardroom, reveling in a lifestyle of lavish excess—their success as intoxicating as champagne on New Year’s Eve. But remember, every indulgence comes at a price.

Invited to a team-building escape room challenge, the fiercely competitive group squeezes into an elevator of a high-rise, buzzing with anticipation. But when the lights flicker and the doors stubbornly refuse to open, they soon realize they’ve stepped into a sinister contest: a deadly game of survival of the fittest.

Now trapped in shadows, these colleagues must shelve their bitter rivalries and band together to unravel a series of cryptic clues if they want to taste freedom again. But as the game unearths their darkest secrets—those skeletons in their corporate closets—they come face-to-face with the blood price of their ruthless ascent on the ladder of success. As tensions rise and the clues turn lethal, they must answer one final, chilling riddle: which one among them will commit murder in order to escape?

I distinctly dislike when authors exploit trends to churn out engaging tales, but I get it—it’s all about that cash flow for publishers riding the wave of popularity. It’s a gamble worth taking if the book can snag a few bucks.

I did my best to immerse myself in The Escape Room, though I confess I put it down a few times, only to pick it back up later. I managed to finish it, so that’s a minor win. Ultimately, the characters were so devoid of likability that I found myself wishing for their slow, agonizing demise—which, let’s face it, is never a good sign. The setup had promise; I was intrigued by the escape room concept. But everything else—a muddled plot, poorly crafted prose, lackluster descriptions, and stilted dialogue—left much to be desired.

In the end, The Escape Room was about as enjoyable as getting trapped in an elevator with a flatulent stranger. Trust me, you’ll be searching for that emergency exit after only a few pages. Save your time and skip this one; it’s a real dud. ╌★✰✰✰✰

╌B.J. Burgess