The Midnight Horror: 'The Killing House' (2018)

♰ Welcome to The Midnight Horror! ♰

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I'm not one to sip on spirits, but a splash of liquid courage might have smoothed the jagged edges of my Midnight Horror marathon. Oh yes, some of these cinematic misadventures were so cringeworthy that I nearly reached for a drink. Today's featured horror gem is The Killing House, a flick that you can probably stumble upon streaming for free in the murkiest corners of the internet.

Written by Cheng Peng and helmed by Ding Wang, this film presents a simplistic narrative. Picture this: three near-strangers—Chi, Christine, and Reino, played by Duojie Suonan, Chloe Mercedes, and Picardy Jean-Pierre—find themselves inexplicably imprisoned in a mansion. Here, they are coerced into participating in a deadly game that no one signed up for, a contest where only the most ruthless can escape. The stakes? They have to eliminate each other until one victor stands tall, drenched in the metaphorical blood of their former allies.

Marketed as a horror flick, The Killing House serves up just one truly terrifying experience: the realization that you’ve sacrificed precious moments of your life to watch what feels like a low-budget student film, desperately trying to grasp at sci-fi and action elements. Where's the hero when you need them? It’s more drama wrapped in confusion than spine-tingling terror. I sat there, scratching my head in bewilderment. Am I watching a VR game gone awry? Has someone pulled me into a chaotic alternate reality? I half-expected a clumsy homage to Sliders with its half-baked CGI wormhole effects—if only those wormholes could slide me right out of there. And that villain! He looked like a rejected character sketch from a low-rent superhero comic. Seriously, was the mask budget trimmed to dimes?

As for the acting, let’s just say it was lukewarm, at best—a three-star performance on a two-star budget. The trio did their best with a script that felt more like a scribble on a napkin than a coherent screenplay.

All in all, I was bored to tears as I endured The Killing House. I squandered a full 80 minutes of my existence on this cinematic calamity so you wouldn’t have to. You can thank me later—perhaps with a drink. Cheers to better choices! ╌★✰✰✰✰

〜B.J. Burgess