31 Reads of Terror: 'Return to Fear Street: Drop Dead Gorgeous' by R.L. Stine

I've been noticing a curious trend among the listings of the 31 Reads of Terror. It seems that the books I find myself woefully disappointed with have received some oddly inflated ratings from other readers. Are they all reading the same title? Or has society, in its collective wisdom, taken a giant leap backward? I tend to lean towards the latter.

I grew up devouring R.L. Stine’s Fear Street series, well before Goosebumps ever hit the shelves. Yet you’d think they were twin siblings of terror, at least according to certain self-proclaimed horror experts on YouTube. They’ll defend to the death the notion that Fear Street is merely a copycat of Goosebumps, completely ignoring that the first Fear Street book was unleashed in the 1980s, while Goosebumps is nothing more than a sanitized, kid-friendly downgrade. I digress. What I’m starting to realize is that either people are woefully misinformed or just too lazy to dig for the truth. Thank you, floundering education system. But enough of my digressing. Let’s get to the main event: Return to Fear Street: Drop Dead Gorgeous.

The plot? It’s as simplistic as a well-used horror trope: Morgan Marks, the new girl, instantly becomes the center of attention. She’s the shining star—popular, smart, and stunning—drawing admirers like moths to a flame. Yet, her past remains shrouded in mystery, a dark cloud looming over her, and even her boyfriend Ben is left in the dark. With the Shadyside Homecoming just around the corner, you can bet those secrets are going to claw their way into the light. Now, let’s talk positives—if you can call it that. The cover? It’s deliciously creepy, genuinely one of my favorites from the latest crop of Fear Street releases. And…that’s about where the good news ends.

As for the storytelling, it’s a chaotic mess, darting frenetically between character perspectives and drowning in a sea of trite Hollywood teen angst that feels as forced as a poorly scripted reality show. The dialogue? Good grief—it’s almost laughable. Sure, I’m not expecting Hemingway from a Fear Street novel, but I do expect a bit more finesse from Stine. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say Andrew Neiderman, the ghostwriter of V.C. Andrews, spat this drivel onto the page. Yes, it’s that bad. It lacks the signature Fear Street vibe—replaced instead by a confusing, juvenile style that many YA authors have sadly adopted over the years. I know it’s aimed at younger readers, but let’s be honest: R.L. Stine knows his older fans still cling to his work.

Overall, Return to Fear Street: Drop Dead Gorgeous stands proudly among the worst of the bunch. With a paper-thin plot, unlikable characters, zero thrills, and a narrative that seems to have been tossed together during a caffeine-fueled writing session, I can’t help but wonder if this was more of a publisher’s decision than an artistic choice. Don’t take my word for it; I’m wrong more often than I’m right. However, I’m not mistaken when I declare this book a flat-out dud. Save your time—and your sanity. I cannot recommend this one. ╌★✰✰✰✰

〜B.J. Burgess