Portal travel! The ultimate form of environmentally friendly transportation!
Sick and tired of destroying the environment with toxic emissions from your vehicle? Want to arrive at your destination in mere seconds? Feel like travelling to alternate dimensions at the snap of a finger? Then Portal travel may be the solution for you!
Our mystically powered Portals are engineered locally in Outer-Sheol by only the most powerful of demonic sorcerers. Beautifully designed by our award-winning team of goblin craftsmen, our Portals will truly be an artistic conversation piece in any Sheolic home.
If you desire to keep those pesky humans out of your demonic lair, our Portals will tear them apart at the sub-atomic level – no fuss, no muss!
Own your very own Portal today! For a limited time and only 0% APR and 5000 Sheolic ducats down you can haul one off the lot today! Be the first in YOUR neighbourhood to travel in style like the overlords!
Do your part to keep our Underworld beautiful! Make the change to Portal travel today!
Some side effects of Portal travel may include: dizziness, nausea, unintended travel to unfriendly dimensions, death, dismemberment, reversal of organ placement, destruction at the cellular level, headaches.
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