Monday, 14 January 2013

Monday Morning Madness #1 - The Curves of Life


Welcome to my weekly rambling titled "Monday Morning Madness"! I originally planned on writing about my New Years Resolutions, but due to recent circumstances I will save my resolutions for next week.

Life just plain sucks sometimes! The world is going through a continuing financial chaos caused by governments that can't balance a checkbook; the fringe media can't tell the difference between tabloid nonsense and actual news; and you can't go anywhere, not even online, without being insulted by ignorant people.

Personally, the only excitement in my life is when the mail carrier arrives at a decent time. Between my tonsillitis scare, toothaches, the thought of one day of getting glaucoma, my constant sinus dilemma, my on and off again depression, social anxiety, the fear of never finding love and dying alone, I thought God wouldn't dare throw me another curve, but I was mistaken.

Out of the blue, from a complete stranger, I received a message that my birth father, who I have never met, wants to meet me, and I have a half-brother and a half-sister that I never knew existed. Plus, there are several nephews and nieces.

Why is God putting me in this situation? Is he testing me?

Unwanted, angry thoughts filled my mind. I know very little about my mother's marriage and divorce to him, but I have enough evidence that gives me the conclusion that drugs and spouse abuse were involved.

Why would a man who gave all legal custody away want to reconnect with his oldest son?

Midlife crises?

Regret?

In my humble opinion, it takes more than DNA to be a father. A wonderful man adopted me and raised me as his own. He is and always will be my father, and not this complete stranger.

When I was about to delete the message, I wondered what my siblings and their children were like. I took enough courage to reply back to this young woman (yes, she's younger than me and she's my birth father's girlfriend). After several emails, it occurred to me that this woman seemed to be a nice person, I might even be able to one day call her a friend, but I can never call my birth father a friend, despite his pathetic cries for forgiveness. He should ask Christ for forgiveness and not me.

Over a month later, my younger half-sister, who was nervous, sent me an email. Surprisingly, I have similar personality traits and likes in common with her.

Does this mean we're going to be friends?

Does mean we're going to have a brother and sister bond that can't be broken?

Only God knows what the future will hold. The only thing I can do is cautiously move forward and see what life brings me.

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