Friday, December 31, 2021

Casual Dating: Expectations vs. Reality

2022 is the year of the tiger. A brand-new year brings brand-new beginnings and resolutions. Everyone is doing their best to be safe and sound in our world's environment. Going out to a bar or nightclub for a possible hookup or finding the love of your life isn't as simple as it used to be. Online dating is becoming more of the norm with millennials. We all have instant access to websites and apps via our smartphones, and we're only one swipe away from finding the perfect casual date on an adult dating website or app.

For anyone living in the UK area, you can find a casual date at Local Sex Finder, an adult dating site and app covering eight-six counties, such as Bedfordshire, Greater London, Great Manchester, and North Yorkshire. Once you sign up and upload a selfie, you can use the postcode search to find the nearest match, view profiles, etc. It's a fun and quick way to find a no-strings-attached relationship.

Most of us already have a good idea of what we're looking for on a casual date. However, we live in an entertainment media-driven society, which sometimes causes us to mix our expectations with reality.

Romantic Movies Are Always Wrong

There's nothing wrong with staying home to binge-watch romantic movies and Rom-coms on Netflix, Hulu, or Prime from the comfort of your living room or bedroom while eating takeout from your favorite local restaurant. Lonely hearts tend to grasp a hold of these make-believe stories. Remember, Hollywood likes to put a spin on everything, including romantic movies where the leading men and women all look like models, and everyone gets their happily ever after ending. Unfortunately, dating in the real world doesn't usually play out as it does on the big screen.  

Sorry, but the chances of a former pornstar moving right next door to you are slim to none. No one riding a white horse is coming to save you from your evil stepmother. Never bet on winning the big dance competition and falling in love with your dancing partner all in the same night. And nobody is going is to belt out ABBA tunes with the snap of a finger. It's all movie magic. None of it's real. 

Relationships aren't perfect, even the non-committed ones. Not everyone is going to look like Ashton Kutcher or Natalie Portman. Don't expect to fall head over heels or madly in love. Sure, it might happen. Or it might not. 

Steamy Books Are Only Fantasy

Everyone likes different things, especially in the bedroom. It's one of the reasons why erotic romance novels are so popular with readers. It's a safe and discrete way to live out your fantasies. There are action adventures, westerns, space operas, and supernatural tales. Then there are the BDSM books that have become more mainstream thanks to the Fifty Shades of Grey series. 

Now there's nothing wrong with reading steamy erotics, but sometimes your expectation of what a lover truly is should be only one thing - a fantasy. A knight in shining armor time travels to the present day, answers your blind date ad, and carries you back through a magical portal to his castle. Sorry, it's never going to happen. A mystical stone sends a WWII British nurse back to 1700s Scotland, where she falls in love with a highlander. Two hunky vampires fall in love with a gorgeous telepathic blonde waitress. That love triangle can only happen in the fictional Sookie Stackhouse universe (or True Blood to the non-readers). 

While there's nothing wrong with having a romantic fantasy, we need to dilute our minds back to reality and keep our expectations at a realistic level. 

Casual Dating in the Real World

Casual dating gets misinterpreted as going to a bar, buying someone a drink, and having a one-night stand. Contrary to that belief, normal casual dating involves having an emotional attachment to whomever you're dating. Yeah, in some circumstances, it can be referred to as a "friend with benefits" relationship. For others, casual means not putting a boyfriend or girlfriend label on your date. You can have an emotional and sexual relationship without a serious commitment to each other. So, in other words, you're keeping things strictly casual.  

If the last two years have taught us anything, you should seize the moment and not waste any time. There is someone out there for everyone. Just don't magically believe that perfect someone will come knocking at your door. You need to put yourself out there and look for that person, even if it's only for a casual hookup.