Thursday, March 24, 2022

[Review] - Becoming My Sister by V.C. Andrews

I have talked about my love for Flowers in the Attic, its three sequels (Petals on the Wind, If There Be Thorns, Seeds of Yesterday), and the standalone tale My Sweet Audrina, all written by the late great V.C. Andrews (1923 - 1986), many times over the years on this blog. When it comes to the ghostwritten novels by Andrew Neiderman, my reviews tend to be repetitive because I have to spend two-thirds explaining to readers about the ghostwriter. Since most V.C. Andrews fans already know Mr. Neiderman has been writing under her name for thirty-six years, I'm jumping right into my final thoughts for Becoming My Sister.

Becoming My Sister is hands down the worst dribble-drabble I have ever read. Despite my distaste for the past thirteen years of ghostwritten stories penned by Andrew Neiderman, I wanted to like Becoming My Sister, but that's difficult to do when a book has absolutely no story. Seriously, somebody, please explain the plot to me! Because, for the life of me, I couldn't find one.  

When you can't think of brand-new character names, recycle the old ones from previous novels. Right, Mr. Neiderman? The main character in Becoming My Sister is Gish, and her older sister is Gloria. Gish sounds like a nickname for Gisselle (Ruby's twin sister in the Laundry series). Gloria was the name of Misty's mother in The Wildflowers series. 

Gish is a spoiled teenage girl living in Palm Springs with her parents and older sister Gloria, who she idolizes. In her mind, Gloria can do no wrong. Gish wants to be just like her big sister - literally!  

It's not until page 252 that anything of any importance happens. Before that, there is a pointless teenage melodrama recycled (Yep, there's that word again.) from other Neiderman stories. The narrative is in first-person, told through the eyes of Gish, who isn't even a full-fleshed-out character. All the characters are below one-dimensional. The dialogue is eye-rolling cringy. Seriously, nobody has conversations like the ones written in this book.  

Becoming My Sister was a nightmare to finish. By the end of the prologue's second page, I saw the tell-tale signs that this book would be horrible. Wanting to be a good little trooper, I braved through this crapfest, so others won't have to endure the horror. 

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