Tuesday, 6 October 2020

Romances, an Escapism for Men


Why is it the lonely hearts are the ones who read the most romance novels? Is it because we believe there is a soulmate out there for us? Are we just more romantic than others? Or is it a distraction from our loneliness? 


Whatever the reason might be, there are millions of romance readers in the world. No, I'm not just referring to women, as there are plenty of men who read them, too. I know this for a fact because I am one of these men. And, no, I don't read romances for the steamy sex scenes. I read romances to fill a gap in my non-existent love life.


Romance novels are pure fiction, and most times, they are predictable. An attractive woman meets a handsome man, and by the final chapter, they fall madly in love. Sounds perfect. Right? Well, in my opinion, it's a little too perfect. The chances of meeting an ideal match by pure luck is very slim. And, trust me, they're not going to be perfect, as everyone has their flaws. Lastly, there's no such thing as a cookie-cutter relationship.

 

In the real world, there are blind dates, online dating, and bars, which the latter can lead to a hookup or one nightstand. I'm not into the latter because it's completely pointless. Blind dates tend to end in disaster. Seriously, never set your friend up on a date. You don't know what your friend is looking for in a partner, so just stay out of it. Online dating is a better option because you can write a profile that explains exactly what you want in a partner. 

 

Dating websites are a dime a dozen. They are plenty of them out there in about every niche and location. For example, if you're looking for dating in San Diego, then there is San Diego Personals

 

Where can you take a date in a post-COVID-19 San Diego world? Well, going to a movie theater is clearly out the question for the near future. A great place to take a date is the San Diego Zoo, which is having a Halgloween event this month. You could have a romantic picnic at the Coronado Beach. Take a bike ride on the Silver Strand Bikeway. Bring your date to the San Diego Museum of Art, The Model Railroad Museum, or the Air and Space Museum. Have a dinner and a show at the Medieval Times Dinner & Tournament. Whatever you decide to do on your date, please be safe and wear a mask!

 

Yes, the common conception is that men want only want one things out of a relationship - sex. And, while it is for some men, many of us are looking for our one true love. RWA (Romance Writers of America) says men make up 16% of romance readership, which proves we do have a romantic side.

 

Not all romances are classified as a romance. What do I mean by this? Well, many thrillers have romance side-plots. In Robert Ludlum’s The Bourne Identity, Jason Bourne has a romance of sorts with his hostage, Marie St. Jacques. In Robert B. Parker's western Appaloosa, gunslinger Virgil Cole falls in love with troubled Allie French.

 

Romances are escapism, a way for us to be distracted from the ups and downs in our lives. These books can also fulfill our romantic fantasies. Imagined being an 18th century Scotsman who falls in love with a nurse from the future, which is what happens in the Outlander series by Diane Gabaldon (and the STARZ television series of the same name).


Reading romances is a harmless pastime that can help soothe a lonely heart and soul. Well, until a real romance enters your life.

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