So, Billy assigned me a theme for this post, and I think I know why: because if he had left me to just cut loose, you would’ve all learned who the REAL coffee-addicted writer is. So I’m not going to talk about that. I’m not going to say a single, solitary word about that. One pot a day since I was twelve. That’s all I’ll say about that.
Anyway, I’ve been invited here to talk about my love of the zombie genre. First, let me qualify what, exactly, that does and does not mean. I am a purist after a fashion, though I think my definition of a zombie, while rock solid, is flexible enough to encompass a whole lot of ground. All I insist on is that a zombie must at some juncture have been dead. I cannot equivocate on that point.
I have no problem with the shambling corpses of Night of the Living Dead, Return of the Living Dead, Cemetery Man, Zombie, Fido, The Walking Dead, World War Z, The Rising, etc., etc. They all fall wholly into the Venn diagram counter-splice area of “dead” and “re-animated.” I’ll tell you where I draw the line, though: zombie-like behavior in the still-living.
Evil Dead? Evil Dead II? Both inestimable classics of horror and gore, but nope. Sorry. Zombie-like, perhaps, but living people possessed by Kandarian demons is too far off the mark.
Planet Terror? Perhaps the virus causes zombie-like symptoms, but these still-living infected people are decidedly NOT zombies. Resident Evil IV? Perhaps the greatest Resident Evil game of all time, but, sadly, Las Plagas parasites are no replacement for actual, clinical death. 28 Days Later? Doesn’t count. The Rage virus, while it again exhibits many zombie-like symptoms, only affects living human beings. No death or re-animation. Not a zombie movie.
(Note: I have no issue with “fast” zombies provided they are indeed the resurrected dead. That is not my issue with 28 Days Later. For instance, the Dawn of the Dead 2004 remake also features fast zombies and I don’t disqualify it in any way, shape, or form. Ditto Zombieland.)
Anyway, I’ve been invited here to talk about my love of the zombie genre. First, let me qualify what, exactly, that does and does not mean. I am a purist after a fashion, though I think my definition of a zombie, while rock solid, is flexible enough to encompass a whole lot of ground. All I insist on is that a zombie must at some juncture have been dead. I cannot equivocate on that point.
I have no problem with the shambling corpses of Night of the Living Dead, Return of the Living Dead, Cemetery Man, Zombie, Fido, The Walking Dead, World War Z, The Rising, etc., etc. They all fall wholly into the Venn diagram counter-splice area of “dead” and “re-animated.” I’ll tell you where I draw the line, though: zombie-like behavior in the still-living.
Evil Dead? Evil Dead II? Both inestimable classics of horror and gore, but nope. Sorry. Zombie-like, perhaps, but living people possessed by Kandarian demons is too far off the mark.
Planet Terror? Perhaps the virus causes zombie-like symptoms, but these still-living infected people are decidedly NOT zombies. Resident Evil IV? Perhaps the greatest Resident Evil game of all time, but, sadly, Las Plagas parasites are no replacement for actual, clinical death. 28 Days Later? Doesn’t count. The Rage virus, while it again exhibits many zombie-like symptoms, only affects living human beings. No death or re-animation. Not a zombie movie.
(Note: I have no issue with “fast” zombies provided they are indeed the resurrected dead. That is not my issue with 28 Days Later. For instance, the Dawn of the Dead 2004 remake also features fast zombies and I don’t disqualify it in any way, shape, or form. Ditto Zombieland.)